I am SOOOO excited!  Yesterday Eric and I went to my fertility specialist appt to check and see if there were any cysts on my ovaries.  This was a negative and all of my test results from my biopsy came back normal!  YEAH!!  So everything is going as scheduled.  My doctor is looking at Feb. 4,5, or 6 as the possible insemination days!!!  YEAH!!!  This has been such a long road for the past 2 1/2 years but there is a light at the end of this tunnel.  I am SOOO happy about all of this good news.  And Wed Feb 6 is the day of the Solar Eclipse (even though it is not visible to us) so that has too be some kinda sign. 

Love and Light,

Sellestia

So I don't typically talk about my older brother Rusty, but today I must.  For those of you who do not know I have an older brother I will tell you a little about him.  He is 2 years older then me so he is 30.  His birthday is June 22 so he is a cancer.  He went to U of M med school and graduated a couple years ago as a MD.  He has been working as a resident at Beaumont ER in Royal Oak, Michigan.  Here is the awesome news:

He just found out today that he got one of the attending positions at Beaumont ER!!!!!  YEAH big bro!!!  I am so proud of him!!! *tear*

So I am not the best at making sure to post updates on a regular basis.  In this post I am not even going to promise that I will.  I just have alot of things on my mind as of lately and I want to document them so I don't forget in the future. 

I believe that learning from our past mistakes and then not making the same mistake again is what helps us to grow.  I am a person who can  be manipulated by people who try to play the victim role.  This is something that I have struggled with for a long time and have donated numerous amounts of money to said charity....so to speak.  It is not even about the money but about the trustworthiness of these people.  I mean there really are people out there who need help and that need caring people to take them in or donate money too.  I try to befriend and help out the person who is down and out on there luck.  The problem lies in weeding out the ones who are truely in need and those who are just out there looking for another group of people to take advantage of.  The one thing about the pagan community as a whole is that we are giving people.  We want to help see people grow and do better for themselves and we want to give our helping hands.  I have seen some wonderful truely amazing people help those in need.  People who don't know if they can do for themselves but don't want to see a fellow brother or sister doing without.  People who will give you their food out of their cupboards but may not be able to buy replacement food just so that a family will not do without.  These type of people are truely good people.  What makes me sick though is the people who will take advantage of these truely good people and will manipulate them.  You never can tell though when it will happen and what will happen.  You always though get a feeling something is wrong with them, but as a kind hearted person you still want to extend your hand.  This saddens me though when you end up getting the "raw" end of the deal.  One thing my mother always told me was that I am too kind hearted.  I know that I have rough exterior at times and can come across harsh.  I try to always have the best intentions in the end.  But over the years it has been hard to be that donator to charities and been given the "raw" end of the deal.  I know that we live life to the fullest trying not to regret things.  I try to look ahead with my head held high and confident of who I am.  I am not perfect!  I speak my mind, sometimes too loudly.  LOL!!  I love my friends and family with all my heart.  I like to think that people always know where they stand with me.  And I try to give.  This to me is important but when people take advantage of me or others (whether they are friends or not) this makes me mad.  Honestly, it ticks me off.  We are all here on this planet living and breathing and trying to make it work in our present economy.  But what makes one person better then another......NOTHING!!!  We should honor and respect the struggles that all are going through and of course take care of ourselves.  But honor our past commitments and promises.  I would rather be surrounded by those who are willing to give you their dinner then the ones willing to take it. 

I am sorry if this upset anyone....it was only intended to rant.  I apologize to anyone who feels that I have done them wrong in the past.  Just know that I still love all of you regardless of how you feel about me.

Love and Light,

Sellestia

It has been sometime since I have posted and that is due to my crazy busy schedule.  I have been focusing on writing a book and meeting with people to get things down on paper.  I have been really excited about this project and I am working with some peers who I respect a great deal.  Once I have more down on paper I will start writing things on how we are coming up here.  I can't wait to share all of my ideas with everyone and get some feedback! 

Also, I am working on creating monthly newsletters to email out.  These will contain my classes with description, info about what is going on in the area, and an editorial.  If you are intrested and would like to subscribe to my email list just give me a shout!  I am currently working on my December newsletter. 

Love and Light,

Carrie

Why is it that if you are a strong individual and state your feelings openly to people that you are made to be the bad person?  I am not saying that I am ashamed of being out spoken or strong but I am tired of people saying behind my back that eveything has got to be about me!  That is a load of crap.  I will not apologize for people being afraid to confront the situation or to be opinionated.  That is one of our god and goddess given gifts.  We should not hide how we feel.  This was how I was raised and I will continue this way for my life.  If people want to be passive or passive aggressive that is not my problem and do not pass it off on me that it is my fault.  If you do not tell me there is a problem when I ask you "is everything ok" or "are you upset" then don't backstab me down the road and say that "everything is all about her".  Yes I am slightly angry at this.  Someone who I veiwed as a best friend has recently stated things similar about me.  She has said that they were going on for sometime now.  The thing is I am not bothered by her feelings, they are hers and she is allowed to feel them.  However, come to me and talk to me.  Don't post it online for me to read and then get upset.  That is very passive aggressive.  Now one could argue that I am doing the same here, but I have already seperately stated my feelings to her.  Now I am just ranting.  That is how I am I do not hide my feelings and I do not backstab people.  I feel so jaded now because this person has been feeling this way for months and never let on how she felt.  Never when I asked her if everything was ok did she take the time and say "hey I am upset with you when _____ happened".  How old are we again?   I guess it boils down to not really knowing an individual.  I thought I knew her, thought that we spent lots of good times together and were really close.  I hope for her sake that she can begin to confront her problems in the future instead of how she handled this situation.  It is not respectful to hear these things through the grapevine.  Like my mother always told me....if you can not say it to the person's face then don't say it at all!