So I am not the best at making sure to post updates on a regular basis.  In this post I am not even going to promise that I will.  I just have alot of things on my mind as of lately and I want to document them so I don't forget in the future. 

I believe that learning from our past mistakes and then not making the same mistake again is what helps us to grow.  I am a person who can  be manipulated by people who try to play the victim role.  This is something that I have struggled with for a long time and have donated numerous amounts of money to said charity....so to speak.  It is not even about the money but about the trustworthiness of these people.  I mean there really are people out there who need help and that need caring people to take them in or donate money too.  I try to befriend and help out the person who is down and out on there luck.  The problem lies in weeding out the ones who are truely in need and those who are just out there looking for another group of people to take advantage of.  The one thing about the pagan community as a whole is that we are giving people.  We want to help see people grow and do better for themselves and we want to give our helping hands.  I have seen some wonderful truely amazing people help those in need.  People who don't know if they can do for themselves but don't want to see a fellow brother or sister doing without.  People who will give you their food out of their cupboards but may not be able to buy replacement food just so that a family will not do without.  These type of people are truely good people.  What makes me sick though is the people who will take advantage of these truely good people and will manipulate them.  You never can tell though when it will happen and what will happen.  You always though get a feeling something is wrong with them, but as a kind hearted person you still want to extend your hand.  This saddens me though when you end up getting the "raw" end of the deal.  One thing my mother always told me was that I am too kind hearted.  I know that I have rough exterior at times and can come across harsh.  I try to always have the best intentions in the end.  But over the years it has been hard to be that donator to charities and been given the "raw" end of the deal.  I know that we live life to the fullest trying not to regret things.  I try to look ahead with my head held high and confident of who I am.  I am not perfect!  I speak my mind, sometimes too loudly.  LOL!!  I love my friends and family with all my heart.  I like to think that people always know where they stand with me.  And I try to give.  This to me is important but when people take advantage of me or others (whether they are friends or not) this makes me mad.  Honestly, it ticks me off.  We are all here on this planet living and breathing and trying to make it work in our present economy.  But what makes one person better then another......NOTHING!!!  We should honor and respect the struggles that all are going through and of course take care of ourselves.  But honor our past commitments and promises.  I would rather be surrounded by those who are willing to give you their dinner then the ones willing to take it. 

I am sorry if this upset anyone....it was only intended to rant.  I apologize to anyone who feels that I have done them wrong in the past.  Just know that I still love all of you regardless of how you feel about me.

Love and Light,

Sellestia